


Day 7: "No, I Do Remember"

by BluePlanetTrash



Series: Merry Langstmas (12 Days of Christmas) [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Merry Langstmas, Neglectful teammates, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 19:15:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13394430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluePlanetTrash/pseuds/BluePlanetTrash
Summary: All of the paladins decided that in order to celebrate Christmas, they would each get a day to share their traditions. When it came to Lance's day, he found that everyone else decided that they would take his turn, knowing that he wouldn't be able to say no. Little did they know of the consequences of their actions.





	1. Chapter 1

When Pidge made the calendar to keep track of how much time has passed on Earth, they quickly realized that they were nearing Christmas. They couldn’t stop talking about all of the traditions that their families had while they were home and decided that each day leading up to Christmas they would each do a day of their family traditions. Decorations, food, desserts, and gifts. Of course, all of them were excited and wanted to be able to go sooner rather than later. They decided that it would go Pidge first, then Keith, then Hunk, then Shiro, and finally Lance since he was happy to let all of them go before him.

The plans went well too, they would set up their traditions and at the end of the day, they would all help in cleaning it up too. They laughed as Pidge and Shiro tried to cook their families traditional meals but burned them half-way through, it turned into a fun way to bond though as they tried to figure out the recipes just from the two of their heads. Surprisingly Keith as a fantastic cook and turned out a great meal, while Hunk was a no-brainer with his food.

The decorations were the same, but this time it was Shiro and Pidge who excelled. Shiro strung up elegant folded papers and finely cut homemade tinsel and Pidge made twinkling lights that lined the hallways and cast a golden glow to the ground. Keith and Hunk’s families were similar though, that they both took to threading and stringing up popcorn for decoration. They weren’t able to find a corn type planet but something came up in storage that looked like the kernels could be popped, so they tried it. It might have looked strange when it was purple with orange spots, so they decided to paint them red and roll them in red glitter. It turned out surprisingly well and it sparkled with the hallway lights whenever they walked by.

The desserts were something that they all enjoyed since after dinner they would go into the kitchen and teach each other how to bake their family’s favourite dessert for the holiday as they ate some that were already prepared. It was interesting to see what kinds of things their families liked to eat over Christmas. Panettone from Pidge, kurisumasu keiki from Shiro, gingerbread and caramel from Keith, and sugar cookies from Hunk. They were able to pull off the taste off the dishes even if they didn’t really look like the dessert itself.

It was kind of awesome that they would be getting a gift every day too. When Pidge nervously handed out the small boxes they immediately were wowed by the shiny Christmas ornaments that were carefully laid inside. Each of them were the same colour as their paladin armour and sparkled slightly with glitter. Of course, they were all grateful for them and her worries were quickly washed away by all of the thank yous she was getting. The days after were also a time of learning for the paladins. They learned that Hunk’s family made charms for each other that represented something that they had accomplished that year. So each of their charms were of their lion’s face. They weren’t exactly sure how Hunk had accomplished it but they weren’t too curious either, he had done some pretty amazing things in the past after all. When Keith passed around newly designed and fabricated pyjamas, they learned that his dad used to always design and sew new pyjamas for him every year and it was always his favourite gift out of everything he received. They weren’t going to lie, it was freakishly adorable of him. It also came to light that Shiro lived on Earth with his mother and grandfather and every Christmas his grandfather would fold him a different animal out of paper and give it to him, even though he wasn’t able to move his hands very much anymore and although he always forgot about a lot of things, he never forgot his tradition to his grandson. There were more tears shed during those times but at least they were all good memories.

Lance loved each and every one of his friend’s traditions. His desk held all of the gifts, carefully arranged so they could constantly be in his sight. Today was his turn though, and he was excited to share his traditions with them. He decided to go to the fabricator room first, it would be better to start off the day getting the gifts ready than rush through it later.

Every year his mamá would get everyone a stuffed animal in their favourite colour. What it was depended on how you acted or what you conquered during the year. During his first year of middle school he was extremely shy and withdrawn and got a deer that year, but as he worked his way out of his shell and became braver he ended his middle school career with a badger. Not the scariest thing to look at, but he as well as everyone else on Earth knows; nobody messes with a fucking badger.

He stopped at the door of the fabricator room when he saw Shiro standing at it printing out pieces of coloured paper. He turned when he heard the sound of the door sliding open.

“Hi Lance,” He said with a smile and a wave.

“Oh, um, hey Shiro, what are you doing here?” He asked looking at him with a confused head tilt.

“Oh, right, I’m making more paper so I can give everyone another animal, I just was reminded of how much I loved getting them while I was on Earth,” he said wistfully. Lance’s stomach dropped.

“You remember that it’s my day right?” He asked breaking Shiro out of his memory. He collected the papers in his hands and gathered them up.

“No, I did remember, you don’t mind though do you? There are still three other things that you can do,” he said, carefully putting the pages in an envelope that he had by his side. Lance took a step back at the answer. Although it kind of hurt to think about, Shiro was right, he did have all of the other things that he could do. He did look a bit overwhelmed last night and wasn’t able to fully enjoy giving everyone their gifts because of it.

“Yeah, you’re right, go for it, Shiro,” he said giving the leader a big thumbs up. Shiro gave him a grateful smile and patted his shoulder as he passed by him to go out the door. As he heard the door close behind him, his arm fell limp to his side. He looked solemnly around the fabricator room. He could make his animals anyway but that would just take the spotlight off of Shiro’s gifts. He couldn’t do that to him, not after how much he was hurting yesterday. He’d just have to start making his decorations then.

He set to work, creating lights, bells, and fake Christmas tree boughs before he twisted the lights and boughs together and tied the bells around them to create a simple garland. He nodded his head in approval and bundled it up in his arms, although the length of it still made it drag on the floor slightly behind him. He decided that it would be best to make his dessert before stringing up the decoration since it would take time to refrigerate and cool. He dropped his garland in his room and headed toward the kitchen instead.

Like in the fabricator room, he stopped in his track when he saw Pidge was in the middle of mixing together what looked to be cake batter in a large mixing bowl. It didn’t take long for the squeeze of his heart to happen and he moved further into the kitchen hoping that she wasn’t doing what she thought he was.

“Pidge, you did remember that it is my day today right?” He asked catching her attention. She barely looked up from her task before she continued, turning to the ingredients she had.

“No, I did remember, but I realized that my mom made pandoro for Christmas and I just had to make it for everybody, I knew you wouldn’t mind though,”

Lance quickly shoved a smile on his face before she could turn around. She looked at him with sparkling eyes and he directed his gaze to the floor. He wanted to say no so bad, but seeing the hope and happiness in her eyes, he just couldn’t do it.

“Yeah, no, I don’t mind, can’t wait to eat it,” he said sending finger guns her way before he backed himself out of the kitchen. After the doors closed in front of him, he looked down at the ground and sighed. Tears were prickling in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve. He still had two things that he could do. He had wanted to make natillas for them but it would have to wait for now. At least now he could focus on making the perfect meal and setting up the garland as best as he could.

He headed back to his room ready to start putting up the garland. He wanted them to stretch down the halls so that everyone would see them when they walked by. It would be exactly like it was at home. His family loved to make their own garland instead of getting it at the store like everyone else. He smiled fondly, lost in his own memories. He was only distracted from them when he physically bumped into somebody.

“Ack, oh sorry,” he said helping Keith to his feet from where he knocked him over.

“Geez Lance, watch where you’re going,” he grumbled taking the hand.

“Hey, I said I was sor- what are you doing?” he asked finally taking in the sight before him. Keith was standing in the main hallways, a row of green and red wreath stretching down the hallways beside him. His eyes went back to Keith who was blushing and looking down at the ground.

“I remembered that my dad would always tell me that my mom liked the wreaths that he used to put up at Christmas time and I wanted to see how much somebody else would like them,”

“It’s my day though,” Lance said quietly.

“I remember, I just thought that you wouldn’t have a problem with it, there are other things that you could be doing,” he argued still not looking up from the ground. Lance wanted to say that he was wrong, that he had already given away half of his traditions. That wouldn’t be fair though; he had given away two of his traditions already. It wouldn’t be fair to Keith if he didn’t give him the chance to celebrate again, because he had said yes to Shiro and Pidge.

“Okay,” is all he said before he walked away clenching his jaw. His fists were curled tight by his side but not in anger to Keith or Shiro or Pidge. He was just sad that he wouldn’t be able to share the things that were special to him with his friends because he couldn’t say no to them.

The door to his room slid open and he stared at the long garland sitting innocently on his floor, wrapped and ready for him to decorate with. He wanted to destroy it then and there but he didn’t but all the work in for nothing. He grabbed it and started lining it around his room, along the floor and arched over top of his bed. After he was done he shut off the lights and turned on the garland’s. He smiled at the result, it was like there were fairies in his room, living in the garland. It was beautiful.

He looked over at the clock and decided that Pidge probably would have left by then and that it was about time that he started making dinner. He passed the decorations in the hall without a glance, focused solely on getting to the kitchen. There were butterflies in his stomach as he made it to the door of the kitchen and he waited on the other side just taking breaths. He wanted more than anything for there to be nobody on the other side of the door but by the way that the day was going, he almost expected it.

He took a deep breath in and opened the door. Silence. He glanced around in shock and almost leaped in glee at the fact that nobody was in there. He rushed towards the counter ready to pull things out. He paused when he heard a nervous shuffle in the doorway and looked up. Hunk was standing near the entrance, looking off to the side and wringing his hands together. Immediately the butterflies were back and his heart was pounding in his chest.

“Um, I was wondering if I could make another one of my family’s dishes today,” he suggested rubbing the back of his neck before he could look up to meet Lance’s eyes.

“Hunk, it’s my day,” Lance almost pleaded trying to get hunk to realize how devastated he was becoming. Hunk tried not to look at his face too much though, he didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah, I remember, I just miss my family, I want to remember them more,” he admitted. Lance swallowed, he knew exactly how that felt. He knew how much it hurt. He didn’t want Hunk to feel that too, no matter how much it hurt himself. He set down the tools that he had gotten for himself and walked over to Hunk. He didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around Hunk.

“Have fun buddy,” he said quietly before he left and headed back towards his room. He knew that it wouldn’t be long before Hunk finished dinner but he couldn’t bear the idea of showing up when he had no part in the day even though it was all meant to be his. For the first time today, he let himself clench his jaw and let the tears fall down his cheeks. It was supposed to be the day he could show everyone how much his family and Christmas meant to him. It was supposed to bring the paladins closer to him, not drive them away from him even more.

He slid open the room to his door and took in the glowing lights coming from the garland and laid down on his bed. He let the streaks fall on to the bedding as he let himself sink into his sadness. He didn’t want to feel as terrible as he did, in fact, he should be feeling proud of himself for pushing aside his feeling and letting his friends feel closer to their families. No matter what he did though, it only felt like they didn’t care about his traditions or what they meant to him. They steamrolled over him, assuming that he wouldn’t care that they took something away from him. Assuming that he wouldn’t speak up for himself and take back what they agreed was his.

He clenched his fist in the cover of his bed. He didn’t want to cry over this but he couldn’t help it. Christmas was important to him and his family. It brought them closer every year and his friends had taken a lot of it away from him. If Christmas was so important to them, why did they think it meant so little to Lance?


	2. Chapter 2

Shiro carefully set his gifts on the other paladin’s plates before they arrived. It really did make him feel better, he hadn’t been able to spend Christmas at home for such a long time and he really did worry about his mother and grandfather. He had seen the decorations that lined the hallways as he made his way to the dining hall and he had to hand it to Lance, they really were beautiful. He heard the door open and he turned to the open door, smiling at Keith as he walked over the threshold. He was followed closely by Pidge, who slipped in right after him.

“Hey Shiro,” Pidge said cheerfully as she sat down in her seat. Immediately, her hands reached out to take the small rabbit off of her plate and investigate it. She looked up at Shiro curiously and opened up her mouth before she was interrupted by Hunk as he shouldered his way out of the kitchen with several dishes in his hands.

“Whoa Hunk, do you need help?” Shiro asked as he got up and quickly approached him.

“Nope, don’t worry about it,” he quickly replied, easily setting the dishes down in the centre of the table. He uncovered them with a flourish, releasing the delicious aroma trapped inside. There were loud sniffs as each of the paladin’s inhaled the scent and quickly started taking from the plates as Hunk watched them with a smile.

“This is so good!” Keith groaned stuffing a spoonful into his mouth.

“Where’s Lance? He really outdid himself,” Shiro asked Hunk, assuming that he just helped him carry out the dishes. Hunk blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Actually I made this, Lance let me make another one of my family’s dishes,” he admitted with a small smile.

“Well, it’s really good Hunk!” Shiro said with a smile. He focused back on his plate. He would really have to go and find Lance afterward and thank him. It was kind of understandable if Lance let one of them take his turn but it was pushing it with letting two of them.

“Did you help Lance with these?” Pidge voice suddenly cut through his thoughts and he looked up at the girl.

“No, those are mine, Lance let me make those instead,” he said. At his words Pidge froze, almost dropping the paper figure in her hand.

“Wait, he let you take that too?” She asked. Confused Shiro nodded and waited for her to explain.

“Lance let me make one of my family’s desserts again today,” she said quietly. They all froze and stared at her. Three. He let them have three of his traditions on his day.

“He-he put up those decorations right?” Hunk asked glancing around the table at them.

“No, those are mine,” Keith said shaking his head. They gaped at one another.

“He didn’t do anything?” Pidge asked in disbelief.

“But he didn’t even complain or anything,” Keith argued in shock.

“You all know how Lance is, even if we were hurting him he wouldn’t complain,” Shiro said. They nodded their heads in agreement and looked down at the table.

“How could we have been so selfish?” Hunk asked the quiet room.

“Because we knew that Lance was too nice to say no?” Keith suggested to the room. They didn’t say anything, knowing that it was true. When they woke up that morning, they knew that Lance wouldn’t say no to them. Even though they knew that Lance was excited to share his traditions, they were only thinking of themselves and what they wanted.

“We have to make this right,” Keith stated.

“Does anybody know anything about Lance’s traditions?” Shiro asked glancing at each one of the paladins. Keith shrugged almost immediately, it wasn’t that surprising since they weren’t really friends in the Garrison. Instead, he turned his attention to Pidge and Hunk who both looked to be deep in thought.

“This might be a long shot but the few years we were at the Garrison, he always brought a new stuffed animal back after Christmas,” Hunk suggested looking up at them.

“What about food or desserts?” Shiro asked. He was ashamed to admit that he didn’t know Lance all that well. They hadn’t really talked about their families to each other, none of them have.

“Sorry, I don’t know,” Hunk said shaking his head sadly.

“Well, we’ll just have to work with the stuffed animal,” he started going towards the door, the others trailing behind him.

* * *

In was easy to come up with an idea for a stuffed animal. Lance absolutely adored Blue so they decided to make a small plush version of her. It came out soft and fluffy, perfect for someone like Lance.

“I hope he'll like it,” Hunk said anxiously, wringing his hands together.

“Of course he’ll like it Hunk, its Blue,” Pidge said coming up beside him and patting him on the back.

“I know, but it just feels like we’re not doing enough, I mean, this is his family we’re talking about, it had to be a huge punch in the gut for us to do this,” Hunk rambled. They looked down to the ground again as the realization washed over them. He was right, above everything, Lance cared about his family the most. Christmas had to be super important to him and they took that away from him.

“We’ll spend however long it takes to make it up to him,” Keith declared, determination shining in his eyes. They cheered in agreement.

“Alright guys, let’s go see Lance,” Shiro said walking down the hallway to the quarters.

They stood silently in front of Lance’s door, listening for any sign of movement. Although they hoped that he was in there, at the same time they were nervous to confront him. Before they could hesitate any longer, Shiro knocked on the door.

“Lance?” He called. Only silence greeted him and he glanced over his shoulder to gauge the other’s reactions. He knocked once more. Silence. He reached over and pushed the scanner.

“Whoa,” Their mouths opened in awe as they looked around the room. The simple garland that Lance made glowed softly throughout the room. They twinkled as if there were fairies floating around. They quietly stepped over to Lance’s bed and saw him curled into his blankets fast asleep. Their stomachs clenched when they saw the obvious tear tracks on his skin.

“Lance?” Shiro quietly said, shaking his shoulder gently. Lance let out a muffled groan and opened his eyes slightly. At the sight of the others, he curled up tighter and turned around to his other side, his back now facing the paladins. He clenched his eyes shut as tears rolled over his nose and pooled by his ear. The pain he felt earlier was still raw and seeing the others didn’t help it at all.

“What do you want?” He asked bitterly. They flinched slightly at the tone, it didn’t sound like Lance at all. They glanced at each other before turning back to look at Lance.

“We’re so sorry Lance,” Pidge started quietly. Lance didn’t turn to look at them. Sure they were sorry, but that could only be saying that because they don’t know what’s wrong.

“We shouldn’t have asked to take your day, it wasn’t right and you were just as excited as all of us to do this,” Keith said. Lance tensed up. Keith’s voice was trembling like he was getting ready to cry.

“We were selfish Lance and we’re so sorry,” Hunk cried. Okay. Hunk was definitely in tears behind him. He really didn’t want to turn around now. If he did then he would start crying even harder then he was before. The longer he listened, he could hear different people crying and sniffling.

“We knew that you wouldn’t be able to say no to us and we took advantage of that, we’re so sorry,” Shiro said. Unlike the others, it seemed like Shiro was able to keep face. He never thought that they would have come to apologize to him. He didn’t think that what happened would be important in their eyes. Sure it hurt him, but he thought that they would just ignore what happened. He gave them his permission after all.

“Will you forgive us?” Shiro asked. This time his voice was smaller. Lance pushed himself up and turned to look over at them. His eyes widened at the scene before him.

Keith, Pidge, and Hunk were clutching on to the shoulders of Shiro’s shirt. They were rubbing their eyes and sniffling but trying to look determined at Lance like a bunch of children who just fell and scraped their knee and were trying to pretend it didn’t hurt. That alone made Lance’s heart squeeze, but it was Shiro that had him lunging forward to collect them in a hug. He was bowed forward, his head lowered and was holding out a plushie version of Blue to Lance in trembling hands. His head was partly hidden by the stuffed animal but Lance could still see tears dropping from his eyes. He looked like he was holding his breath to stop any sounds from coming out. The guilt on his face was as plain as day.

He wrapped his arms around Shiro, snagging as much as he could of the others in his grip from behind Shiro’s back.

“It’s okay,” he soothed. And it was okay, they apologized and that’s all that he wanted out of them. For them to recognize their mistakes and learn from them.

“How can you forgive us so easily?” Pidge asked, curling her hand in the back of Lance’s shirt.

“We hurt you,” Hunk added.

“You came to make it up to me, there’s been a lot of people who haven’t even tried to do that,” Lance started, he squeezed his arms tighter around Shiro. “I know you guys, I know that you won’t try to do this again, I know that you can learn and you never meant to hurt me,”

They nodded in agreement and curled closer to him, tears still streaming down their faces. Lance couldn’t help but smile at them. Hurt and guilt can only last so long, and it helps to have people that care about you, who can make them go away even quicker.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me at my Tumblr too!: https://blueplanettrash.tumblr.com/


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